I write, therefore I am

I’m a writer. I repeat this to myself daily in the hopes that it will sound natural the next time I have to respond to the question, “What do you do?” After a period of my life where I had many different titles … student, waitress, library clerk, teacher, flight attendant, chemist, outdoor educator, airboat driver, PTA president (it counts!), and mom … I decided to focus on my writing. I knew I had a lot of experiences to draw from, but until I sat down at the computer and started creating a story, I doubted I could do it. Once I started, the pages grew into chapters, and I couldn’t believe how much I loved the act of writing. I’ve found my mission, I thought, I will be a writer!

The truth is, I had in my head that all I had to do was finish the book, get published and then I would be a writer. I eagerly signed up for an upcoming conference full of classes on how to write and get published. Turns out my jump right in approach to writing was okay. The presenting authors all had different paths to their success, but each of them made a point to say that the actual act of writing was the most important first step. You’re a writer, they said, because you write. Have confidence, they said. Follow your heart, they said. Then they shared a mountain of knowledge that showed me how much I needed to learn and how hard it would be to get published. But somehow through the whole exhilarating process, they gave me enough confidence to feel I could succeed. I’m a writer already, I thought!

Outside the supportive cocoon of the conference, however, I become a tad hesitant in that assertion. Purely hypothetical, let’s say the “What do you do?” is asked while on a first date. While being a writer sounds much more interesting than a mom, as far as conversation starters go, I’ve found the follow-up to the “I’m a writer” declaration can be varied. Most people love to hear what you’re writing about and conversations can go everywhere from there. I once got a full account of someone’s jail time on a Caribbean island through some connection to what I was writing. Not exactly second date material (hypothetical), but inspiration for a future story. These exchanges feed my soul and confirm my choices. However, it only takes a small number of another type of encounter, the one that points out the root of my nagging doubts. “Have you been published?” The conversation goes two ways from there. First, and preferable, the perpetrator is asking out of curiosity and moves on from my negative response to the fun questions about my writing.  Alternatively, the perpetrator lets the subject drop, making it clear that I couldn’t possibly have anything of value to add. At this point, I glance at my phone and then in surprise say, “Oh my gosh, my daughter is having a crisis and I need to go.” Hypothetically, of course.

If you are embarking on a writing career or a hobbyist, wear your mantle proudly. I have no trouble saying I’m a tennis player even though I probably couldn’t get a job as a ball girl at the retirement home doubles tournament. In this Game of Books, full of naysayers and rejections, stay true to your heart and repeat after me … I AM A WRITER!