Game of Books podcast has been underway for 11 weeks now and we are still tweaking and adjusting our format. Those loyal listeners know that we are becoming more relaxed with every episode. It is an adjustment to talking for an audience, even if we don’t see you. Not to mention the weirdness of hearing your own voice with all its ticks and “um”s.
As with writing we are our own worst critics. On one hand we love it but on the other we keep wanting to do it better. Just like I might have a sentence in my manuscript that I think is da bomb, I might have 20 others that are just functional. When I listen back to a podcast episode, hard as it may be (Cathi can’t even do it!), I may hear something cleverly said but it is among a million missed opportunities. And just like with my book, I’m very needy of positive feedback. Where I don’t want someone to read the first chapter then throw it across the room, I also don’t want someone to listen to 10 minutes then unsubscribe in disgust. A fine line runs between success and failure, and I don’t want to fall on the wrong side of it.
At this point you are probably wondering why I even write or podcast. It’s certainly not for the money or fame. Neither are considered a common outcome. The pressure is mostly self-imposed. Most of my friends and family probably think I’m a slacker (everyone who doesn’t do it thinks writing is easy) or crazy, or both.
The truth is, I love it! I love creating worlds and characters. I love making people laugh and think. So while it may be my least favorite part of writing and podcasting, I will continue to beg people to read and listen. Because I just know (this is where the crazy part comes in) that since I love it so much they will have to like it. Maybe even like my work enough to tell me (remember the needy part?) and to share with enough people to keep me going. So to borrow from Julia Robert’s line in Notting Hill … I’m just a girl, asking her listeners/readers to love her (following and subscribing works, too!).
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